Our many firsts!!!

Our First Home

I can't find the pictures of our first home, when I do I will post them. We bought a trailer house that needed some work and placed it on some land by his mom and dad. I had lived in a trailer all my life, so it wasn't anything new to me. I hated everything about that trailer, the location, the things that needed to be done to it to fix it. I completely re-wall papered the house, and put new carpet. We re-tiled all the bathrooms and the kitchen and painted all the bedrooms. It was looking so good and was really beginning to feel like home.

Our first Child

After a year of trying to get pregnant with so many let downs, on August 1st, 1998 (our one year anniversary) I found out I was pregnant. I had cried so many times with so many neg test that I was amazed when I see that test turn positive. The picture above is my dad's mom and myself at my baby shower. I am in labor here and trying to force a smile as I have a contraction.
I was at mom's when full labor started. My contractions were 5 min apart and getting closer and I decided that I had better call Sam from work to get me. We go to the hospital and they tell me that I was dilated to a 3 and they would rather me walk than lay. I have a LOW pain tolerance and told them I was NOT walking. I laid in that bed for 21 1/2 hours in hard labor, when my doctor decided to go and have a steak. My mother screamed at the nurse and told her that she had better get him there NOW, I was telling mom that something was breaking.

Finally, the doctor came and informed me that I was only at a 7 and I was going to have a c-section. Scared as I was, I was ready to have that baby. The pain had lasted way to long and I was ready.

On March 29th at 8:48pm our first daughter was born. She weighed 8lbs 4oz and was 21 1/2 inches long. She had loads of hair as you can tell from the picture above. We had decided on a name months earlier, having heard the name Bethany in the bible. I had always wanted a little girl with the middle name Nichole, so we named her Bethanie Nichole Frost. On this joyous day we could have never known what was in store for us.

As you can tell her daddy was a proud man. This is my favorite picture of them, look at the way Bethanie is looking at him. She had the cutest little chunky face, and her hair was black as coal.

This is Bethanie at 3 weeks with her aunt Jeanne (Sam's baby sister). I was always so particular about her clothes, her hair, and her ribbons. Everything had to match to a tee!!

Our first birthday party!

This is Bethanie's first birthday. We had the party at our house, and was unable to have any children there. Bethanie had spent the night in the ER with RSV, and could be around no little kids. All the parents came and she still had a blast. We could have never known that this would be the last birthday with our little angel.
This is Bethanie in her new birthday outfit, specially bought for her party. Isn't she adorable?

Our first heartbreak~~Test of faith

Our first heartbreak came on the morning of July the 20th 2000. I had a hair appointment so I decided that I would ask my mother n law to watch Bethanie for me. Since my mother n law and me had been at odds the last year I was hesitant to leave her there. After my hair appointment, I decided that it was nap time for her and I was going to try to lay down with her. She had RSV again and we were so tired. I laid her down and laid down with her, and that was the last time I seen her alive. I won't go into detail on what happened that day since I am limited on time and my husband (who won't talk about it) is right here with me.

Bethanie passed away on July 21st, 2000, 12 hours after we found her in the pond. This was our first test of faith, and our first test of our love in our marriage. I was unsure if we could pass this test that we were being put through.

The first thing we did!

The first thing after the funeral was to sell that trailer. I didn't want to go home to that place. Her crackers were still laying on the living room table. Her shoes were still where she had taken them off at. The smell of baby lotion still in the air. Her baby room still the same. I didn't want to call that place home, I wanted to get rid of the house. I went to get her things, and looked out the back window, you could see the pond, and that made up my mind.

So we sold the trailer and moved into an apartment. We both got third shift jobs and spent as much time away from each other as we could. We wanted nothing to do with each other and it was taking it's toll on us and it was not good. Our marriage was suffering and our faith in God failing. That was when we decided to separate, yes separate. It was Sam's decision, and I was okay if he needed time. We were not apart long when we realized we need the Lord and we needed each other. In 2001 we built a new home, together, with our own hands. We laid the foundation cinder block by cinder block. We put each log on it and hammered every nail. This was going to be home and we wanted to do it ourselves. One year later, our home was built. We were on our way to trying to mend things that were broken, and build new lives, always missing the little girl we lost.