Why do I do it?

Why do I read blogs? Why do I do it? I read The Ramer Families blog today as she explained the day that her two twins drowned. It has been a long time since the thoughts of that terrible day of Bethanie's passing flooded so swiftly through me. Well, today they did. She explained all the same things that I remember about that day that we lost Bethanie. Performing CPR on her and her lifeless eyes open and glassy. I could tell there was no life there, but I had to keep trying. I couldn't let her go without a fight. This girls mother tried so hard to save those twins. She fought so hard to do CPR on both of them. She couldn't stop trying. That feeling the mother had when she was following the ambulances to the ER, the feeling that this wasn't happening. Hating who ever was playing that horrible trick on you. Then to hear that one of her twins had a pulse. That false hope that there was life there. I remember Dr. D, coming out and telling me and Sam that Bethanie had a pretty good pulse, but her eyes were still glassy and fixed. Me telling her PLEASE, don't leave me here..you have to fight baby. This mother, she had the same emotions. The flight to LR to wait 12 hours praying every hour that she wouldn't leave. Going outside for fresh air, and the clergy coming out and telling me I had to find my husband and get to NICU, where they were fighting to save my child's life. I remember seeing the nurse at the end of the bed crying, when I asked her "she is not going to make it is she?", and she tells me that they were trying. I could tell by the smeared mascara and rolling tears she knew better than that. I watched as the took a needle and injected adrenaline into her heart to get it pumping. Being told that we needed to have the family meet in the board room, the doc needed to speak with us. When he came in he was crying and stated the fact that we all knew was coming. No brain function, and she was dieing. He told me that he could continue to work on her, but it might be prolonging the inevitable outcome. I made the call! STOP!! It is and was time for her to go!! I wanted her anyway that God would give her to me, vegetable anything! He made the decision...she wasn't to stay here. I BEG you guys with everything I have, pray for the Ramer family. I know RIGHT where they are at this terrible time and the best we can all do is PRAY!!!!!!