Such tragedy....

Flooding on the Caddo River at Gleenwood.
This little girl is missing from the Albert Pike flood. Please look at her face, and if anyone sees her please contact someone. Her name is Jayden and she is 7 years old. Her father and sister are missing, and her mother is still alive.

As many know by now, Arkansas has once again been hit by devastation. The Albert Pike campground was flooded by flash flooding thursday night. I awoke yesterday morning to all sorts of emails, alerts and news pages stating that 16 had been killed and many more missing or injured. I just wanted to curl up. Hopefully I don't know anyone over there, but even if I don't, the stories of the kids drowning and the horrific stories coming out of there is heart wrenching. God has plans and I don't try to question them, and I know that we should praise him in this storm. That is what is helping me to keep my head up.

All the images are hard though. And I know what the parents that have lost their little children are thinking. I remember thinking those nights and weeks after Bethanie drowned, "was she crying for me?" "Was she scared?" "Did she wonder why mommie wasn't helping her?"

Each parent that has lost a child in this tragedy is thinking the same thing right now. Their world has been ripped apart in the twinkle of an eye.

Mothers watched as their husbands were washed away with their children in his hands. How can you live with such an image in your mind for the rest of your life? I couldn't! Just seeing or hearing these images, brings back the flood of smells, pictures, and things that happened that day with Bethanie.

They are saying now that there could be up to 300 ppl in that area. 300 PEOPLE!! So many lost and missing, so many feared dead. How can one do their job of finding these people? I would ache and be torn apart forever!

I didn't sleep last night, and eating hasn't been on my list of things to do. I haven't had but a few bites in the last two days. I guess my body is just not wanting to think about things, and if I eat I get sick at my stomach.

I wasn't even there you guys, and I can see the images of people fighting for their lives in that water. I just don't understand why this is hitting me so hard. I just don't understand!!

I know it has everything to do with Bethanie, and I have heard of many people loosing their lives in water since her. I think more than likely it is the fact these people didn't know what was happening. These small children didn't know what was hitting them and didn't know what to do when it did happen. Defenseless I guess is the word for it. I am terrified since we leave tomorrow morning for a week camping trip in Branson. We are staying on the water at Tablerock lake. I am scared to go, I am scared to stay. It is supposed to rain, how will I cope with that? I just don't know what to do. I really don't want to go, but the family promise me that a lake won't do that. A river will, but a lake won't! I pray their right!! You guys please help me in praying for all these families, help to pray that the victims are found alive, that the families find comfort in the Lord!!

I won't question the Lord, I won't ask why. I will accept his hand in this and will praise his holy name. Not my will Lord, but thine will!!

The First cavity...

Man, I hate to say it, but my little baby girl Aleeyah has her first cavity. I hate it. I felt like such a bad mother (even though I brush her teeth three times a day), he pulled me off the side and told the verdict. It is a long verdict to, the scary part is they are going to have to put her out. That terrifies me..and so many thoughts of Bethanie laying there sedated when she had her belly surgery flows back.

Although this is her mouth I am just terrified. She is okay with it.

The first thing they are going to do is pull the tooth that has the cavity. Then, in order to keep the teeth from spacing wrong, they are going to cap the tooth in front of it and add a wire bar to it to attach to the back tooth. We did get news that her front teeth are great, but her adult teeth are getting ready to push those through. Aleeyah is looking forward to her first experience with the tooth fairy. I hope the tooth fairy hasn't been hit by the economy haha.

He will then fill the second tooth that he believes has the start of a cavity, and add a cap to it. This whole procedure will take about two hours, and we have to be there at 7:30 that morning. We are just going to stay up there the night before.

We are counting down the days to our Degray lake vacation, and I can't wait. I just hope it don't storm like it has been doing, I mean we will be in camper for heavens sake.

I went to see Dr. R today and he gave me the medicine to loose the last twenty pounds I have been fighting with.. He told me that since I am not that over weight that I will only be allowed three months of the pills. I can handle that, so long as the weight comes off.

I would love to send a shout out to my best friend Shauna. Today is her birthday and she is a special person......

SUYL~~Kelly's Korners~~ Childrens Names

Kelly at Kelly's Korner is having her weekly show us your life post. This week it is what the names of your future children or the name of your children. So here we go.

Bethanie Nichole

Bethanie was our first child. Coming up with her name was the easiest task we had. I was certain that I wanted her middle name to be Nichole, but the first name was a loss. We were reading the bible one morning and I read the story of the Lord coming to the city of Bethany. I was in love! So I had to pass the inspection with my husband of course and he said he would think about it. We got into the car that afternoon and were listening to the radio. It was a sermon from a local church and the preacher was preaching the story of the Lord going into the city of Bethany. I looked at Sam and he agreed that our first daughter would be named Bethany. Bethany is a Hebrew name meaning "House of figs" and I loved it. Little did we know that 16 months after her birth, Bethanie Nichole would go to be with the Lord.

Aleeyah Faithe

For 6 years I tried to get pregnant. Fertility was beginning to be a concern, so I had to go to a specialist. Sure enough I was going to have to take treatments. The first round was unsuccessful and I was disappointed. I started my second round of Clomid with the doctors words echoing through my mind! YOU HAVE TO HAVE FAITH!! Within the first month I was pregnant. I was sure that the second time around I would have a little boy. I had picked out names for a boy, Tryndyn Samuel (Treen din). We have our ultrasound and the Dr. says "guess what Stacy, you got a baby girl." OH MY!!! I was excited and the name game began. At the same time a popular singer in the pop world had been killed in a plain crash. Aaliyah, was a very good singer, though I was not a fan. Yet I loved the name. So I passed the name on to Sam who instantly loved it. What about the middle name? Well, I had to have faith to have her, so what better name? So with a little spelling change...Aleeyah Faithe was born.

Averrie Samarah

Okay, so fertility treatments with Aleeyah and I knew that I was not going to get pregnant very quickly. Well that was an understatement. When Aleeyah was 18 months old, I found out I was pregnant. Third time is a charm right? So I bought boys clothes, and had Tryndyn's name ready to go. Within the first month I started trying to miscarry and was put on bed rest. Talk about hard to handle with an 18 month old running around and a hubby who had to work. I made it through prayer and bed rest, and was told to come in for an ultrasound. I knew it was a boy so I was excited. The Dr. asks me what I wanted and of course I quickly said BOY! He laughed and said "well, Stacy you should be familiar with that image right there" pointing at the screen. YEP, another girl!! She was going to be my last baby and she was a she haha. Okay, so here I am again with a boys name and no girls name. She was the hardest baby to name. I wanted the perfect name for her since she was the last baby. Well, to make a long story short, her name was Jadalynn Hope for the longest time. Even at the baby shower (thankfully noone monogrammed). The night before I was scheduled to have my c-section, my husband came in and said "stacy I want to re-name the baby". WHAT? You want to rename the baby? NOW?

So, I had not allowed him to name Bethanie or Aleeyah so it was only right he get to name the last baby. I braced myself and he blurted out her name. Averrie Samarah!! I loved it thankfully!!

Extra! Extra! Read all about it.

I am making the newspapers. OK, the newspaper! I was not feeling well this morning so I was laying on the couch. I had taken some pictures for the Marines a couple of weeks ago at the Littleton ceremony. I have a running agreement with the Marines that I will do pictures for them and when they put them in the paper, they use my name. So they sent the pictures to the Polk County Pulse and used my name of course. So this morning as I was just laying on the couch, the phone rang. I didn't know the number, so I let the answering machine get it. On the phone was LeeAnn Dilbeck who is the editor of the Polk County Pulse. She said that she had a picture that the marines had submitted to them. She wanted to hire me to take pictures for the Pulse. WHAT? I thought that I was going to fall over. She wants to contract me to take pictures for her!

She tells me to set my price and call her back. So I did and we set up the time and I told her that she could rely on me for this Saturday. I have always wanted to work for a newspaper taking pictures. My idea was taking pictures for a magazine when I was younger, and this is the next best thing. I know that this probably won't take me to far in Mena, but at least people will get to see my pictures and see the passion that I have for them!!!!

Softball, photo shoots, parties, and prayers

This has been a very busy week. On Tuesday I took some spring pictures for some friends. I have taken RH’s little girls pictures since she was born. Well, actually before she was born. I took RH’s maternity pictures also. So I was excited to get to take her eighteen month pictures as well. While I was there we decided to take RH’s nieces pictures. Baby Bella is such a sweet baby, and I was really excited to shoot her, since the last time I had taken her shots she was one month old. After I finished the shoot and got the pictures to Bella’s mommy, she texted me with a request.

See SH’s baby brother passed away last month. It was a complete shock to us all, and he was found in his home. He was only 19. When Bella was born he loved that baby dearly. Now her brother had a baby that he got to see on the weekends only. Trinity was the light of his life. When Bella was born he told his sister that Bella looked just like Trinity. As she is telling me this, I am in tears. I asked her what I could do for her and she tells me that one of the pictures that I took was similar to one that DM had of Trinity. What? How could I have a shot that looks like hers. So she sends me the picture and sure enough they are almost identical. I had changed Bella’s to black and white and she needed it in color. She cries telling me that this picture meant more than the world to her. I am so pleased I was able to capture something that could be so close to her heart.

So Wednesday comes around and we have practice for t-ball. I was sick feeling and asked Sam to please take the girls to the practice, while I stayed home to rest. I get phone calls that tells me that both girls have softball and t-ball games on Saturday. Aleeyah was having her soccer game that morning also.

Thursday was Aleeyah’s softball practice and once again I asked Sam to take her. Thankfully that was the last softball practice of the year and we can get started with the games. Why they book softball and soccer to overlap I will never know.

Friday was Acorn High School’s prom. I was hired to follow two girls around and take pictures. Their mothers did not want to mess with bringing their cameras so they called me instead. I was one busy woman and chasing to young girls was hard. My age has really began to show!! HA!

Sat was the busiest day of my life (that I can remember). Sat morning Aleeyah had a soccer game. She did so well and made a goal for the first time ever. I was so proud of her, since she never kicks the ball when it is in front of her!! She was more excited when the other kids made a goal than she was when she made one. After the soccer game, Averrie had a t-ball game at 2:30. I was unable to make that game, due to the fact that I had a prior obligation. Sam said that Averrie would not play and he set on the side lines with her the whole time. Looks like I wasted 40.00 for nothing! At 4:30, Aleeyah had her softball game. She was amazing they said. Yes, I had to miss her game to. I was having a great time at a housewarming party that I was hosting for Shauna Wagner. Shannon Aleshire and myself had decided to host this party when we found out that Shauna and gotten her house. She got loads of neat stuff and it turned out very nice!

I had my fourth fasting prayer answered today. PRAISE THE LORD!!!! Our new camper’s hot water tank was leaking pretty badly and I had looked into buying a new one and it was almost $700.00. I knew we didn’t have that kind of money laying around, so I added it to my prayer list during my fast. Guess what? Sam took the tank out today and found the problem, which can be fixed for less than $30.00. PRAISE GOD!!! I knew that if I prayed it would help!!

Also, I decided that since I had hit the bottle all week (Tylenol bottle that is), that I should take nothing last night and today. Well, it didn’t take long for the fever to come on and sickness to follow. I have spent my Sunday sick and wishing I could do the things that I didn’t get to do all week. Now tomorrow starts another week with Aleeyah having a softball game Monday night, and a soccer game on Friday and Tuesday! I get myself into the worse binds sometimes!

Oh how I want a burger!!

So this is day 9 on my fast. I am not allowed meat, caffeine, or cokes. I am a stress eater, and when I think something is seriously getting to me I have a Diet Dr. pepper and a slim Jim. Oh, this week has been complete torture. Being that it is the most stressful week to date, it wasn't the best time to do this fast. I have held fast though, and I am almost to my 10 days marker.

I began this fast with many prayers that I wanted answered. I must tell you that three of them have been answered PRAISE THE LORD!!

1st. I wanted my granny to come home. I wanted her here in Mena so that I could call her, so that I could go by there and see her. Just to know she was here gave me comfort.

2nd. I wanted (as materialistic as it may seem), a camper. I was stressed about trying to find one, and was in constant irritation when I couldn't get Sam to look at any. Nothing was in our price range, so I prayed that the Lord would send one in our price range and he did.

3rd. I prayed that my grandfather would let us see my granny. He told us that we couldn't see her, and that we couldn't call her. I knew that she needed family at this time and he was keeping her from that. Thankfully, my grandfather changed his mind and allowed us to see her Sunday afternoon.

Three prayers answered and I feel wonderful about this!!

One, two, three strikes your out…..

Sometimes life throws you curve balls! Most of the time when I get thrown a curve ball, I pick up my bat and hit it out of the park. A home run that is over the fence and long gone!! Here lately though I have been striking out badly. First, we bought a new camper. Now that would usually be a great thing, but during this time is was the most stressful time in my life (well, there are some that top that). We had to get it licensed and pay the sales tax on it. Boy that ball hit the parked car three miles from the field on that one.

Then to top things off, my grandfather called. My granny was able to come home Wednesday. I was so excited, and told the girls that we would be seeing granny this weekend! They were so excited and were wanting to pick her some flowers. Then my grandfather called and said “No kids, No visitors, No phone calls.” WHAT?! I can’t call my granny, I can’t take the girls to see granny, I can’t come and see granny.

He said that the doctor told him that granny’s immune system was very frail, and that children were walking germs. I don’t disagree that children can pop a fever faster than anything, but I would never bring the girls around if I thought that they were sick. I was like that before she had cancer, and I would do the same now! He is not even allowing her to take phone calls. There are so many things that I could say to this, so many things that I could scream at the top of my lungs. What am I to do? Nothing!! There is nothing I can do, but wish that things were different. So yet another ball that I struck at and missed horribly!!

So tonight, on a night that I feel like I have just failed with all that i have tried to do today, I am finishing the day off watching Julia & Julie, and listening to Aleeyah chat about anything she finds amusing. I realize that it doesn’t really matter if I hit all the balls, just if I am a good sport about the ones that I don’t hit!!!