Kelly's Korner Living Tour Post

So I decided to try the tour of homes. Sam and myself built this home with our own two hands. We both worked nights and would work till around noon during the day time to try to finish the house. Sam laid every rock in the wood stove hearth, and I was pregnant with Aleeyah when each piece of hardwood was laid (by us of course). We had never built a house before so we had to read and learn things as we went along. Seven years later we are still adding, changing and finishing things on the house but it is our HOME!! We just got new a new sectional and a new table. We wanted the dining room and living room to be one large room. Of course being a "terrified" mother the fence around the fire place was my idea. He made it for me to ease me through the walking stages of the girls. A close call with Aleeyah made me realize that I needed something around those rocks or I was going to keep her in a playpen for the first two years of her life.

This is a view from the dining area into the living area. You have to look past the toys and the fact that the hubby likes to lay his jacket on the table. MEN, I could hurt them.

From the fireplace area down the hallway and you can see the kitchen to your left.

Rest in Peace my friend...

Rest in peace my dear friend Sandra Harvey. Tonight my friends mother Sandra left this world to be with her heavenly father. She had been fighting breast cancer for two years and recently told them that she was tired of fighting it. Sandra is the one pictured here in brown. She has been in our family for over 24 years and we are so saddened to loose her. She is going to be missed by us all!! So tonight we pray for her loved ones, since Mother's day is Sunday and they will be telling their mother goodbye for one last time. We love you Sandra, and we will forever remember the times that we so fondly shared. When Christmas time comes around I will think of you and those wonderful cheese balls you would make. How you would always make the boys cut your tree down and Candy would put ALOT of tinsel on it, always in silver and blue. How we would sleep on the couch and the time that you hit Thor, our German Shepherd, and it jumped into the back of your car. We like to have never got that dog out of that car!! So many memories, and so many smiles..that is what we will keep alive until we are able to meet you once again. So tonight my dear friend as I go to bed I say a prayer for your kids/grandkids and I shed a tear for all the smiles that we had!!! I love you my friend!!

Some pictures of the girls...

Just wanted to share som pictures of the girls that I took some months ago!

I bought them new smocked dresses...got to love smocked dresses!!

Averrie refusing to open her eyes.

So she opens them only to smile so hard they close again!

Aleeyah Faithe

Averrie Samarah

What God says about ....

I have to say that when Aleeyah was born I would not discipline her at all. Through the years it had weighed heavy on my mind that the last day that I seen Bethanie alive I spanked her. I was so afraid that the same thing would happen to Aleeyah and that would be the last memory of her. BOY, should I have done things differently!! Yes, Aleeyah is really really really spoiled and I did it. I would always give to her in fear she would leave like Bethanie did and I wanted to have her happy all the time. Aleeyah is 4 1/2 now and I am reaping what I sowed and paying a horrible price. I have tried all of the "training" that the books offer with no such luck. So I decided that since I had broke one verse that God speaks of already (The hand that spares the rod, spoils the child) I would go back and look at the good book for guidance. So with Bible in hand I take on my little angel full force! I said "Sissy, Mommy needs to talk to you about your behavior." Of course it came with the same words that I always get when she knows she is in trouble..."LATER MOM"

So I take her to the couch and tell her that we are going to read what God tells us about "minding" our parents.

So I find the commandment that tells us to honor and obey your parents. "What is a commandment?" she asks me. So I explain that it is a rule that God tells us that we are to follow and if we don't we are in more trouble than when daddy gets mad at us. Well of course that changed the mood in the room.

I then find the verse that states that you are to honor and obey your parents so that your days maybe long here on earth. She was amazed by that verse and wanted to know what it meant. So I tell her that disobedient children rebel against their parents and can loose their lives quicker than those that mind. She begin to stare into my eyes and I could tell that this was filtering through that little sponge of a mind of hers. Well, I am pleased to announce that Aleeyah has not given me one little bit of trouble in the minding Mommy department since then. I told her that this is what God says to do and we must do it. It is amazing how smart little children are and how dumb we play them out to be. I guess that is why God tells us that unless we enter into the kingdom of heaven as a little child that we will not be able to enter.

Not time to grow up yet.....

So as you might or might not know Aleeyah is terrified of storms. Well she is terrified of the rain, the thunder, the lighting and wind. So last night as we are setting in the living room and the rain was coming down. Aleeyah was setting on the couch and she said "rain go away, I am a BIG girl now and I am not scared of you anymore." It would so happen that at that moment as the words rolled off her tongue a clap of thunder hit and the lights went out. Well, all I hear is Aleeyah screaming "OKAY OKAY I ain't ready to grow up yet!!!" These hilarious words are screaming out of her mouth as she runs to try to find me in the dark!! She is irritated at me since I could not stop laughing at her all through the terrible storm that we had. They truly will say the craziest things.

So tonight was "I am on strike night", since we do not have eat out nights during the week days at the house Sam will be extremely surprise. A different routine to the "normal" he is use to. I am going to snuggle on the couch with a good movie that my mother-in-law sent down. Suppose to be a thriller (not scary, since I don't do scary), but suspense. The next few weeks will be WAY busy on me so I better enjoy the quite while I can.

We are trying to get all our information together and all the paper work in line to home school Aleeyah. Before Sam and myself had children I decided that I would home school them. This was a choice that did not take long to make. I just pray that Aleeyah is ok with it and things go well. She will be 5 the last day of August, so if she does not take to the homeschooling I can always start her in Kindergarten next year and she will still be good on age!! This is something I want to try for her and myself, pray that it works!! Off to my movie Hush, Hush sweet baby and a nice cold glass of sweet tea. Hopefully tonight we sleep better than last night!

Mother's day (My daughters)

Bethanie Nichole

Every Mother's day is both joyful and sad for me. I enjoy being a mother, and I love my two daughters with all the breath I have in me. Then I realize that I am one short. I have two daughters that love me unconditionally, and another I can't see anymore! When Sam and I got married I knew instantly that I wanted children. I did not want a career outside the home, I wanted to be a mother. Every month for that first year I would cry when the test came back negative. I got to the point that I would not even look at them. I would just throw them away before I seen the results. Why not? I knew the answer on that test was going to be negative as usual. The last part of July of 98, we went out of town with my mom and dad. I was down a little since August 1st was my first anniversary and I still was not pregnant. I told my mom that I was giving up and did not want children anymore. I had started a job at a local daycare, where I had 12 children under my care ranging from 0 to 18 months old. If I could not get pregnant then I would just be around these children and take care of them.

On the night of August 1st we decided that we would drink a little to celebrate our anniversary. Before I drank I knew that Sam would make me take a test since I had not had a monthly since May. So in the bathroom I go to take a test that will surely be negative again. I locked the door so that he could not come in to see the tears that I was sure to cry when the results came back. I take the test and start to cry before it even shows anything and as usual throw it away. Sam is at the door and says "Stac, what does it say?" I reply "negative." Honestly I had not looked at the test instinct just told me negative. I go to unlock the door and decide that I will just check the test to make sure that I was right. I reach down and turn it over and it was POSITIVE!! I am trying to get out the door to tell Sam and I can't get in unlocked. I start screaming that I am pregnant and you could hear him running from the living room. I am hysterical cause I am practically busting the door down trying to get out. Finally, I get the door open and show Sam the results. The next day I make the appointment with the OB/GYN and sure enough almost 16 weeks pregnant.

Bethanie Nichole was born early by emergency c-section on the 29th of March 2000. She was 8lbs 4oz and 21 1/2 inches long. She was such a good baby sleeping all through the night from birth.

Sadly enough, the Lord wanted me to have a child for just a short time. Bethanie was with us a little over a year when she passed away. My quest to motherhood had came unexpectedly and left the same way. In the blink of an eye I was pregnant with my little girl, and in the blink of an eye I was burying my little girl.

Aleeyah Faithe

Three years had passed since Bethanie's death. I was trying everything in my power to get pregnant again with no luck. There was a new OB/GYN in town who specialized in infertility issues. What the heck I had tried everything else why not him.
I go to the first visit and go through all the blood work and prodding that they do to you. They find that I have no progesterone. The level was so low I would not carry a baby if I even got pregnant. So the drug of choice was Clomaphine. This stuff makes you pack on weight, and I felt horrible on it. After a year of taking the medicine and being poked and prodded I threw my hands up and said no more. I can't handle it any longer!! I did not want to test on day 21, I did not want to take my temp all month. I was just tired of not having a "normal" monthly. I was working full time and insurance don't cover the cost of infertility. I could not afford to go any higher up the ladder. The medicine was expensive enough and IVF was out of my range. I told the doctor that I might give it a try later but not now. Sometime later I decide that I want to once again try the infertility. Sam and myself had everything paid for and I could afford to pay for it a little better. Another girl that I worked with was also trying to get pregnant. She was taking Clomid, and had moved up on dosage. I remembered how bad it can make you feel as you climb up the milligrams. Oh, here I go again I thought. So after he gives me a blood test and finds that I have no progesterone again, I begin the 25 mg of clomid.

On Christmas my friend called me at home to announce she was FINALLY pregnant. I cried for joy and for pain. In January I was scheduled to go back and test again to get more pills. As procedure you are to take a pregnancy test before he gives you the pills. So I did and I was pregnant!! Finally after 4 years I was pregnant.

Aleeyah Faithe was born via c-section on August the 31st 2004, weighing 8lbs 8oz and 20 1/2 inches long. She was brought to me with her hair in piggy tails and ribbons.

Averrie Samarah

Okay, tears on the first cause I could not get pregnant. Fertility treatments with Aleeyah cause I could not get pregnant. So I never worried about getting pregnant again. I was taking all the steps I need to take to ensure I would not get pregnant (as if there was a chance right)? I was still breastfeeding 18 month old Aleeyah and had no worries. I began to notice that I was feeling strange and wanting to vomit when I smelt foods. I tried to pass this over with my mom as a very long running stomach bug. Yea right can you say denial!! In Feb 0f 06 I was getting Aleeyah ready for a pageant I enrolled her in when I told Sam I just felt bad. There was ice on the roads and I needed him to go to town and get me a pregnancy test. He just kept saying "surely NOT". Well surely so I was as pregnant as everything. I didn't tell anyone that day till I could make an appointment and make sure that it was true. Sure enough I was pregnant and I was upset. I had a baby still and what about feeding her? How could I break her? At 10 weeks I started bleeding and went to the ER. They performed an ultrasound and said the baby appeared to be fine. Heart rate was good, movement was good, it was probably break through bleeding. Two nights later I started gushing blood and just knew I had lost the baby. Off to the ER I go and they do another ultrasound. Nope, baby is fine, heart rate is fine. Just threatened miscarriage and to call my doc tomorrow morning. I did as I was told and they told me that if I had to go back to the ER to let him know and he would come and see me. Later that night I was loosing blood excessively and went back to the ER. Doc came and seen me and put me on complete bed rest for 1-2 months. Now mind you I have an 18 month old that I have to take care of. I laid flat for almost 2 months and I carried her to term.

Averrie Samarah was born via c-section on September 26th, 2006 weighing 8lb 4oz and 20 1/2 inches long.
Those are my daughters and they are the reason I can celebrate Mother's day every year. Hope you enjoy my not so short stories about my girls...

Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers out there, and for those who are wanting to be mothers with no luck...don't give up, a baby will come to you when you least expect it.

I needed a change...

Okay, I needed a change. Every morning I would get up and try to fix this stuff I called hair. It would always want to do it's own thing. I could never do anything with it. Well, I have NEVER had a hair style. You know one of those styles that you go in and the salon's give you and when you wash it the next day it NEVER looks the same again!! So off I go to the local beautician school. The thought of having a STUDENT do my hair terrified me. My little cousin Brittany is attending there and I knew that she would not mess things up. I walk in and of course shake my head at the thought that I am about to cut off my hair.

Well, it begins.....Brittany grabs my hair and ponytails it down low. She then cuts it off!!!! I just **gasped**.......that is when she showed me the hair. 4 inches was no longer attached to my head!! BREATH, that is all I kept telling my self. Just breath deeply things will be ok...BRITTANY would NEVER mess my hair up. She knows that I would kill her personally. I just kept telling her "Brittany, I don't want it short...not to short k!" She assures me that things will be fine. After 3 hours, I am so pleased with the end product. I LOOOOOOVE and I mean LOOOOOOVE my hair.... I recommend Brittany Pringle at the cosmetology school any day, cause she is WONDERFUL!! Even if she is a student.